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Pageviews Scolds Airplane Seatmate For Telling Her She Crushed Dinner

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Pro tip for frequent male flyers: If you ever get seated next to Erin Andrews on an airplane and she’s eating, don’t say a damn word about it. Do you think Pageviews wants to hear your food analysis after freezing in Green Bay with Joe Buck, Troy Aikman and the gang? Hell no — girl needs to fuel up for “Dancing With the Stars” in peace.

Pageviews took to Twitter Sunday to call out a man for that criminal offense. And you know she was serious because she was more than willing to call him out with his seat number:

First-world problem? Definitely. But did the women agree with Pageviews? Most definitely:

You’ve been warned, fellas.

[Erin Andrews- IG]


Erin Andrews’ NHL Boyfriend Jarret Stoll Arrested For Cocaine and Molly In Las Vegas

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Our old pal Erin Andrews’ LA King boyfriend, Jarret Stoll, was arrested yesterday in Las Vegas for possession of cocaine and molly at the MGM Wet Republic pool. No real details yet on what exactly happened, but 8 News Now in Las Vegas broke the story:

Metro Police confirms to 8 News NOW that Los Angeles Kings center Jarret Stoll was arrested Friday at the MGM Wet Republic pool for possession of cocaine and MDMA.

There is no word on what time the arrest was made. Stoll won two Stanley Cups with the Kings in 2012 and 2014.

Stoll is currently dating broadcaster and Dancing with the Stars co-host Erin Andrews.

From what I can tell, it looks like Jarret was just trying to blow off a little steam after a terrible season, if you know what I mean. The Kings won the cup last year, didn’t make the playoffs this year, and locked their coach out of the locker room because they were tired of his shit at the end of the season. That seems pretty stressful.

So the season ends last Saturday, and he heads to Vegas the next Friday and chills by the pool in the sun with a little molly and a little coke — the unofficial mascots of Las Vegas. Sure, those drugs are illegal, but this is a professional athlete from LA visiting Vegas that we’re talking about — they don’t live real lives. Especially when the season just ended. No drug tests for a while and lots of time to just kick back.

In all seriousness, I feel bad for Stoll. You could probably arrest the majority of people at Las Vegas pools for possession of some kind of drug. He just happened to be the guy dating the hot blonde reporter there.

Which brings up the real question: was Pageviews Andrews there and did she partake? That would be a real story.

Update:

I wrote this last night to put up this morning, and now the Kings have released a statement. All I can say is that LasVegas.com should win an award for that advertising.

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 First photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Erin Andrews Has To Dump Jarret Stoll…It’s Too Late To Get Married

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Poor Erin Andrews. I tried to warn her. I tried to tell her things weren’t going to end well with this relationship with Jarret Stoll. I knew something bad was going to happen when it came out that Pageviews was pretty much publicly begging Stoll to get her an engagement ring. And it never happened. It didn’t happen at Christmas. It didn’t happen on Valentine’s Day. And now Stoll has been popped for trying to smuggle Molly and coke into a Vegas pool.

TMZ says Wet Republic security caught Stoll, 32, with an 8-ball of coke and 8 grams of Molly. I’m not an expert on Molly, but it sounds like Stolly was possibly going to do some serious partying.

Now let’s go back to last summer and what Pageviews told Good Morning America about getting engaged:

“I’ve definitely dropped hints here and there,” she said. “But we haven’t looked at rings. … Nothing there yet, the ball’s in his court,” she added laughing. “But no we are fine! We’ve had enough on our plate for the last two years of dating and haven’t really gone there yet.”

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I wrote:

I’m going on the record right now and saying in a majority of cases where a woman says “the ball’s in his court,” things are going to end badly. There’s either an ugly breakup or an eventual divorce coming down the road. I’ve watched enough of the Bachelorette to know where this is heading.

I’ve been at this Internet game way too long to not see this one coming. Stoll, now a free agent, has an earned reputation as the guy on the Kings who likes to have a good time. Guess who Stoll dated before Pageviews — Paulina Gretzky! Paulina even posted photos of the two of them in a hot tub.

 

Like he’s going to settle down at 32 and marry Erin Andrews. Are you kidding me? The guy has a life to live. Pageviews turns 37 in a couple weeks. She knows the clock is ticking. She’s in a hurry with a guy who’s getting caught carrying coke and Molly into a Vegas pool. Need another sign that this isn’t going to work?

It’s time for Pageviews to cut her loses. You’re not going to marry a PR disaster. You can’t. It’s a career killer. And you’re taking shots from Marshall Henderson.

The 2014 ESPYS - Roaming Show

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Erin Andrews is about to get the best advice anyone has ever given her: Get away from Stoll, party your ass off from now until the NFL season starts and hook up with the first investment banker you run into. Even if he’s a 7, you go after it. Don’t even worry about the fairytale wedding like you wanted with Stoll. That shit is over with. You don’t have a year of life left to plan some giant wedding. You marry the investment banker on some Malibu cliff in August and you’re pregnant by Christmas. You have a baby by late summer 2016.

Trust me, Pageviews. I’m looking out for you.

Top image: Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

Pageviews Crushes Twitter Troll’s Convertible Picture

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Pro tip to Erin Andrews’ “Dancing With the Stars”/NFL trolls: rock the egg avatar if you’re going to go after her on Twitter.

Seriously. If you have corny pictures uploaded, you’re just giving EA all the ammunition she needs to ether your Twitter forever.

“DWTS” fan Caitlyn knows what we’re talking about, as she dared to criticize EA’s interview with Bindi Irwin’s brother:

Caitlyn had no idea what was coming next:

Damn, EA. Going after the Twitter header?

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An easy target for sure, but we respect the move.

[Erin Andrews- IG]

Pageviews Takes Advantage of Opportunity to Dance With a Backstreet Boy

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You guys know the Tuesday drill: we usually recap Erin Andrews’ best Twitter exchanges with super angry “Dancing With the Stars” viewers. They always tweet, and EA always gives them an e-punch right to the throat — it’s amazing.

But after yesterday’s epic “convertible throwdown,” it looks like EA is shying away from the angry mob, and that’s cool with us because we have an alternative — EA dancing with Backstreet Boy Nick Carter:

It may look like just another awkward dance, but EA apparently fulfilled a life goal Monday night:

As an added bonus for EA, Twitter didn’t seem to hate it!

Except for this salty dude:

[Erin Andrews- IG]

Pageviews Drops a Pre-Thanksgiving Block on Twitter Troll

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Season 54 of “Dancing With the Stars” concluded Tuesday night, and already disgruntled viewers have taken to the Twittersphere to spitball potential replacements for Erin Andrews. It’s a feeble brainstorming session considering EA has a stranglehold on the gig, but the haters are going to do what they’re doing to do.

One critic desperately wants champion Bindi Irwin to have the job next season, but she made one critical error in her tweet: mentioning EA.

We honestly didn’t think we’d get a pre-Thanksgiving Twitter War, but EA never fails to deliver.

[Erin Andrews- IG]

Erin Andrews Resurfaces With Her Coke Mule Boyfriend Jarret Stoll

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Erin Andrews and her coke mule boyfriend Jarret Stoll were in public together for the first time (that we know of) since he allegedly tried to smuggle a treasure chest of drugs into a Vegas pool. Stoll pleaded guilty last week in Clark County to misdemeanor charges that resulted in community service. A felony drug possession charge was dropped in return for his guilty plea.

The big news here is obviously that Pageviews seems to be sticking it out with the guy she wanted to marry last summer when she said the ball was in Stoll’s court regarding engagement rings. Pageviews had been silent since the Vegas coke controversy.

Now she’s back with shorter hair and seemingly sending messages to Stoll by retweeting a photo of her holding Kevin Harvick’s son at the Sonoma NASCAR race.

From the look of things, Pageviews is back on with the whole ‘Give me an engagement ring’ push she was on last summer. Now 37, the time is running out on that magical wedding/pumping out kids scenario. Stoll just turned 33 and he’s about to become a free agent, which means his easy commute home to Pageviews in L.A. after a Kings game will likely be coming to an end.

Ball’s in your court, bro.

NFL Fans Complain About “Bubblehead” Erin Andrews

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With Season 21 of “Dancing With the Stars” officially in the books, the Erin Andrews-bashing baton has officially been handed back to NFL fans — at least until March. So if you’re more into Pageviews steamrolling idiot sports fans, now is the time to get back into Twitter Wars.

As per usual, there were calls for reassignment (something “DWTS” viewers and sports fans agree with):

And tweets of disdain for the Hollywood aspect of her career:

All we have to say to Ray and Mike is that they are super lucky Pageviews spared their social media lives and didn’t search through their profiles for an epic burn.

[Erin Andrews- IG]


Pageviews Shades Twitter Avatar of Jarret Stoll Troll

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We’ve said it before and we’ll continue to say it until people listen: don’t fire shots at Erin Andrews with a corny Twitter avatar. You may see her as a harmless NFL sideline reporter/reality dancing host, but make no mistake — she will end you.

Take Twitter user Jeff for instance, he thought he could fire a troll tweet regarding EA’s man, Jarret Stoll, and get away with it.

As you can see below, that was a huge mistake:

Oh Jeff, with those sunglasses and facial expression (combined with a personal shot), you definitely had that coming.

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Pageviews Reminds the Trolls They Don’t Have to Follow Her

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If you follow Erin Andrews on Twitter, then you know she’s obligated to shoot out the occasional promotional tweet. We saw it for Guitar Hero a couple weeks ago, and probably a while back for TruBiotics as well. Basically being paid to tweet, that’s the rockstar Twitter life we all strive for.

But not everyone’s down with it, as Pageviews discovered after she retweeted some Super Bowl tailgate gig:

Of course, there is a simple method to not seeing these tweets — don’t follow Pageviews!

Bonus Twitter War: Pageviews responds to an “overrated tweet” with a Christmas Vacation quote.

Trolls Not Pleased With Pageviews’ Cam Newton Interview

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As you all know by now, Sunday’s Panthers-Giants game featured some extracurricular fireworks between Josh Norman and Odell Beckham Jr. Body slams, bats, flying head spears — you name it, this marquee matchup had it.

After the game, our gal, Erin Andrews, caught up with Cam Newton to talk about the game-winning drive (and attempted to pry some Odell drama out of Cam):

Ohhh. Sneaky EA trying to get Cam to bite on that dab comment. Some might not respect the move, but we definitely dig the attempt to take that interview next level.

Of course, some genius on NFL Twitter had a broken sarcasm detector and didn’t quite pick up on it, which led to an EA callout:

She has one simple response for the haters — RELAX!

[Erin Andrews- IG]

Pageviews Calls Out Arizona Cardinals Fan

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The Fox NFL crew is in Arizona this week for the Packers-Cardinals game, and it doesn’t look like members of the Bird Gang are too pleased about having to listen to Erin Andrews and the gang.

Of course, the haters could always just mute their televisions, but we know that’s not going to happen. Instead they’ll just take to Twitter and make a game based on the type of questions Pageviews will ask:

Oh, Ringer — huge mistake with that mention. Pageviews is an absolute hawk for hate-filled tweets:

Bonus: Pageviews knows she is not Olivia Harlan.

[Erin Andrews- IG]

Angry Cardinals Fan Complains to Pageviews About Respect

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Sports fans love to complain about the dumbest crap; we see it everyday on Twitter. But for the most part, the BC office eats it up if it’s some sad Browns fans complaining about Johnny Football coverage.

However, if you are a fan of a playoff-bound 13-2 team and you’re wasting time tweeting media talking heads about the lack of national coverage — get a life. Certain teams just don’t get media coverage, excellent season or not.

Cardinals fan Troy needs to get that through his brain and realize tweeting Erin Andrews won’t get him anywhere but Twitter shamed:

Oh, Troy. Do you really think people would rather hear about your boring Cardinals instead of A-Rod and the Packers?

Bonus: Pageviews vs. Stoll troll.

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[Erin Andrews- IG]

Erin Andrews Begging For Engagement Ring – AGAIN!

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Here we go again with the sad story of Erin Andrews begging her coke mule boyfriend Jarrett Stoll for an engagement ring. It’s like clockwork. This happened in 2014 and now Redbook got her to open up about how bad she wants to get married. Look, I’ve been trying to tell her for years now that Stollviews is a timebomb in the marriage department. If he didn’t ring you up at this point, he’s just comfortable and doesn’t have plans to ring you up. She was begging for an engagement ring in 2014 and he didn’t budge.

But here she is again talking about marriage.

On her plans to become a wife and mother… “I happen to be one of those women who thinks it is possible to have it all. All of my friends from college and high school have three kids now. I’m not even engaged! I hope to have that, but look at what I’ve done: I’ve hopefully had a hand in opening the door for other women. I believe family is the next step.”

The smell of desperation is thick. That’s what’s so strange about this whole thing. She’s in too deep and can’t seem to kick the coke mule to the curb because that would lead to like two more years of dating before talk of marriage. Pageviews is to the stage where she has to pressure the coke mule in the press to get him to marry her.

Here’s what she said during a 2014 interview:

“I’ve definitely dropped hints here and there,” she said. “But we haven’t looked at rings. … Nothing there yet, the ball’s in his court,” she added laughing. “But no we are fine! We’ve had enough on our plate for the last two years of dating and haven’t really gone there yet.”

I’m no marriage expert, but that’s probably not a healthy way to handle a relationship.

Stoll signed a deal with the New York Rangers this summer so he’s off to the right coast for the winter while Pageviews does her DWTS and Fox Sports thing in L.A. What are the odds Stollviews proposes before training camp? Next to zero. Ain’t happening.

Maybe he’ll start to miss her while living in New York and decide he needs to be with Pageviews the rest of his life. Or maybe he doesn’t miss her and has no intention of giving her a ring. What’s clear today is that Pageviews is no closer to that wedding and kids phase of life she’s desperate for.

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Pageviews Goes After Troll’s Dog Avatar

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It looks like putting a cap on Twitter Wars wasn’t a New Year’s Resolution for Erin Andrews, and we’re not mad at that at all. Keyboard warriors need to be put in their place and EA is definitely one of the leaders in that front.

She was back in the game Sunday to call a guy who dramatically tweeted that she’s “not easy on the eyes:”

I mean, followers of this beat know this is the type of that thing that’ll irk EA — she responded promptly by going after the guy’s dog avatar:

In his defense, it looks like pit bulls are the official mascot of his “law firm.”

Bonus: EA instructs the masses on proper photo op etiquette.

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[Erin Andrews- IG]


Pageviews Buries Jarret Stoll ‘Coke Troll’s’ Avatar

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Watching the Cincinnati Bengals meltdown Saturday night was a classic playoff moment we’ll never forget. Some people loved the hard-nose play, while some were left shaking the heads at the needless brutality that ruined my boss’ hopes of a postseason win — Erin Andrews was in the latter camp:

Pretty simple tweet, but, of course, that was enough to elicit nasty responses from some of EA’s wack job followers. For instance, there was this guy who decided to reverse course from the Bengals came and get personal:

Honestly, the guy’s avatar is pretty basic, but we guess EA’s not impressed with that hands-in-pocket look (or scenic bedroom backdrop):

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Bonus: EA admits skewering trolls is both pretty fun and sad…

[Erin Andrews- IG]

Pageviews Burns Old Man Obsessed With Groupon

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It’s always a good time when Pageviews does some digging to craft her excellent Twitter burns on unsuspecting trolls. Don’t get us wrong, calling out someone’s profile picture will never get old, but making it a little personal takes things next level.

Some see it as childish, but how would you feel about old losers constantly criticizing your job? Probably not great!

Old Seahawks fan Patrick was on the receiving end of Pageviews’ wrath today after complaining about the Fox team:

Of course, you guys probably see Groupon and wonder what the **** is going on. A quick glance through Seahawks fan Patrick’s Twitter, and you discover some extreme anger:

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[Erin Andrews- IG]

‘Jeopardy’ Contestant Nails Pageviews Clue

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If you guys were hoping for a Conference Championship Week edition of “Twitter Wars,” it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. Erin Andrews is 100 percent focused on Sunday’s Cardinals-Panthers game, so there’s no time to respond to keyboard warrior scumbags.

However, EA made some news Thursday night when she was presented as a clue on “Jeopardy:”

Way to do your homework, Jennifer. It may seem like a gimme, but we all saw what happened a couple nights ago on a Bill Clinton-related clue:

Pageviews Defeats Troll With Kindness

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Over the past month, you guys have become accustomed to Pageviews roasting the Twitter avatars of keyboard warriors who dared to come at her. But with the Fox NFL crew officially done for the year, we’ve officially reached the end of the line on Twitter Wars until “Dancing With the Stars” returns.

However, we do have one last interaction to share: Pageviews letting a mother off the hook after a “stick with DWTS” comment:

Gina is so, so lucky she rocks an adorable photo with her two sons for her avi. Anything else and this probably ends with a bang.

Oh, and in case you were wondering why that Bruce Arians interview was low on volume…

Erin Andrews Publicly Begging For An Engagement Ring – Again

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Food and Wine magazine is out with a quick Q&A with Erin Andrews and she’s once again begging the Coke Mule for an engagement ring. Possibly for Valentine’s Day? This is starting to become fairly depressing for Pageviews, who has been begging for that engagement ring since the summer of 2014 when she told Good Morning America “I’ve definitely dropped hints here and there. But we haven’t looked at rings. … Nothing there yet, the ball’s in his court.”

From the Food & Wine Q&A:

ENGAGEMENT CHICKEN
One thing I love about Ina Garten is that you can watch her videos online. I’ll sit with my laptop and make Engagement Chicken with her. She swears it works [to get your boyfriend to propose].

That’s it, I’m actually depressed for her. I get the sense she might be in denial that he’s not going to propose to her. She turns 38 in May and has recently been publicly commenting how all her friends are married and have kids. And that the time to have kids is getting dicey.

It was back in November when Pageviews begged for a ring on the Late Late Show while Stoll was playing in New York. Now he’s playing in Minnesota and the couple no longer has a New York pad (he had to sublet the place) to share while he’s in town. It’s total pandemonium.

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